Grey's Anatomy fever

I know! I know..I bit too crazy about Grey's Anatomy...
But I just cant help it..Hehe..
Grey's Anatomy always make my day a great one!!

Funny funny quotes from Grey's (3)

Meredith: They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this thing where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're like, happy.
Cristina: Kick them out.
Meredith: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in.
Cristina: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you snap and you kill them?
Meredith: Yep.
Cristina: This is why we are friends.

Funny funny quotes from Grey's (2)

Meredith: [catching Alex and Lexie in bed] Izzie leaves and Mark gets a kid, and you two decide the best way to deal is to get drunk and mash your genitals together?
Alex: No freaking way you get to judge us or give relationship advice. Besides you were a total dirty mistress like two weeks ago.
Lexie: Are you calling me a dirty mistress?
Meredith: That was two years ago and his wife didn't have cancer!
Lexie: Because I've been with like six guys in my whole life. Alex and I, we've done it before. I was recycling, it was like good for the environment.
Alex: Izzie's gone. I was horny. She was there.
Lexie: Oh crap, I am a dirty mistress. Oh god, you're gonna tell Derek and then Derek's gonna tell Mark that I'm a whore.

Funny funny quotes from Grey's (1)

[Izzie knocks on George's bedroom door]
Izzie: George, can I come in? I made you some cookies and brownies and muffins, of course, I always make muffins.
Callie: [comes out from room] Thank God you're here. I can't take it anymore. Three times already tonight, and he's getting ready for a fourth.
Izzie: What are you talking about? Oh. Oh, eew.
Callie: No, no I get it, you're crying, you're depressed and I know we all deal in different ways, but this is not grieving, this is my legs being bent in ways my legs do not go. A-And I know, I know his dad died, and I get it, I feel horrible for him.
Izzie: [laughs] I can give you guys some privacy, I can go far far away...
Callie: [cuts her off, whispers] No no! No! No! You stay. You take over for me, okay?
Izzie: Callie Torres!
Callie: No! I don't- Not like that, I mean. I am giving him to you. You are now officially on George Watch 2007, OK, you are his friend. Yay! And I need a break. I need to heal. I need to heal.
Izzie: No! No! What am I supposed to do?
Callie: I need to heal. I need to heal. Please, I need to heal.
George: Callie?
Callie: [after she and Izzie both freeze at George's call] Thank you, goodbye. [flees]
Izzie: No, Callie!
George: [coming out from room, naked] What is taking you so- [Izzie stares at George and he realizes, and hides behind the door] Oh!
Izzie: [averts her eyes and stifling a smile] Er- s-she had to go. Are you hungry?

Money Crisis

Well a few days ago I was reminded to transfer money to my housemate for this term rent (13 weeks). Fearfully, I went to check the balance in my account. My greatest fear was confirmed when the total amount of money in my bank account was not even sufficient to cover my rent. WTH!!

Desperate time comes desperate measure. I decided to borrow some money from my housemate and just at that moment, an frightfully anticipated envelope was opened. Out it came was the electric and gas bill. WTH!!

After borrowing money from my housemate, I tried to squeezed every drop of money from my bank account for the rent and ended up with £1.36.WTH!!

DesperateR time comes more desperate measure. I emailed my mum for immediate financial aid. (OPPS!!) Instantly, my mum transferred money to help me out of my predicament. PHEW!!

Well to justify my sudden money crisis.
My rent is superbly expensive even without any bills. (Moving out once contract is finish)
I just bought my air ticket home. (Air ticket cost a bomb).
The rent payment is for April, May and June while my allowance only cover February, March and April.
With the expensive rent and utilities bills, the average monthly rent is around £800 while allowance is only £950 per month.
Haiz...Guess I have to go on a insanely tight budget OR start to print some cash.

Motivation

Can somebody send me some motivation?
I am kind of running low on it.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Macbeth:

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Fully describe what I am feeling..

Only Human by K

Lyrics (Romaji)

kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
hohoemi ga aru to iu yo

kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
hohoemi ga aru to iu yo
tadori tsuku sono saki ni wa
nani ga bokura wo matteru
nigeru tame ja naku
yume ou tame ni

tabi ni deta hazu sa
tooi natsu no ano hi
asita sae mieta nara
tame iki mo nai kedo
nakare ni sakarau fune no you ni
ima wa mae he susume

kuru shi mi no tsu ki ta basho ni
shiyawase ga matsu to u yo
boku wa ma da saka shi te i ru
kisetsu ha zu re no hi mawari
ko bu shi nigi ri shi me
asahi wo ma te ba
aka i tsume a to ni namida ki ra ri o chiru

kodoku ni mo na re ta na ra
tsukia ka ri tayo ri ni
hame na ki tsubasa de tobi ta to
mo-to mae he susume

amakumo ga kireta nara
mu re ta michi ka ga ya ku
nami da ke ga hoshi e te ku re ru
tsuyoi tsuyoi hikari
tsuyo ku mae he susume

English Translation

On the other shore of sadness,
It is said that there is a smile,

On the other shore of sadness,
It is said that there is a smile,
Finally we arrived.
But what are we waiting for?

The purpose is not to run away,
It's to chase after dreams
We should have gone out to travel
On that summer day so long ago

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails,
his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go forward, just a little further

Even tomorrow, if you see it
Though there isn't a sigh either.
Like a ship going against the current flow.
Right now, go forward, move ahead.

Even if it cuts through the rain and clouds,
The wet roads shine,
Only the dark will teach,
A stronger and stronger light,
Be strong, go forward, move ahead.

Retrieved from "http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Only_Human"

A very meaningful song from the drama series "1 litre of tears"

One litre of tears

Whenever I feel pessimistic about life, whenever I feel like I am the most unfortunate person in the world, whenever I feel like giving up, this is my source of energy, optimism and never-giving up.

She never did gave up on life and we are much more fortunate but yet giving up always pop up in our mind.

NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!

Loneliness

Ever feel lonely even in a crowd of people, noisily chatting around you?
And yet you feel so alone..
The noisy and happy chatter is just a background music, insignificant and has no effect on you.

Walking in a sea of people, surrounded by people who are rushing around for daily routine and yet the only thing you can feel is yourself alone.

Studying in a classroom full of chatter-box like students and yet the only thing you can feel is yourself alone.

Taking away from a restaurant filled with customers happily enjoying their meal and yet the only thing you can feel is yourself alone.

Shopping along the thronged Oxford Street nd yet the only thing you can feel is yourself alone.

Is being Alone bad or good?

Sloth

I wish there is a medicine to cure SLOTH...
Maybe the best medication is just stay away from the bed..

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

It seems like yesterday when I last posted something on my so called "blog" and yet today a sudden urge, a nothing-to-do feeling brought me back to this familiar but yet alien place.

Last time I wrote on this blog, I was still living in intercollegiate hall, where food and all kind of bills is non of my business. Life was easy and yet it was tough as well. Now I am living in a house with 2 other housemates and need to cook and cook for all meals. It is tiring. It was like YESTERDAY.

I am pretty sure I dint do well in my Course C paper 1, actually I think I flunk it. But yet life continues and I have to be strong, to face the world. I just started my second semester of my second year. The first day, i was so enthusiastic and full with energy as I told myself "Aylwin you can do better this time." But this course is rather discouraging. No information posted yet? No course document to inform us on what we are about to study in this semester even though it is already the 3rd day of the new semester? And yet I still have to do my best. During exams, I reminded myself of how lucky I am. Quoting from my facebook status "Thinking of the less fortunate people, the older generation who didnt/dont have the chance to get good education and yet we do. So does it matters much if I need to skip birthday and CNY this year to study for exams? Nope. I will study hard for their sake (trying to self-motivate) as Education triumph over everything (Birthday and CNY)." I mean seriously we are lucky to be able to receive good education no matter where we are studying, we are lucky.

And hence TODAY
Live in the present. Appreciate all the moments you have with your love ones. Cherish all the little details, minor parts of your life that you have not even noticed, like how good bathing under hot shower, like the warmth of your duvet, and like the fact that you are breathing, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide are always taken for granted.

But still sometimes, optimism runs low while sorrow and grief take over. Tears start to drench the cheeks and out of nowhere, the loneliness creeps out and bury me alive. Is life worth living? (Dont worry. I am not going to end my life that easily)

And hence TOMORROW.
We always hope that tomorrow will be better. But will it? Tomorrow is always full with so many mystery and uncertainties, which makes it so scary. The future is like a black hole, with infinity within it which makes it so intimidating. But time and tides wait for noone. Cry if you need to but just remember, after the wiping off the tears, look clearer into your life. Is tomorrow really that frightening?

Wow my post is full of contradiction, lots of disagreements in my thoughts. But hey life is like that! Full of opposites! Whenever you feel sad, you must have felt happy before. Whenever you felt hungry, you must have been full and satisfied before. So why do we keep digging into all this negative moments and ignoring all the positive memories? Well we are human who likes to suffer. haha

Enough of crapping on this blog. Bye

A summary of my recent life

Lol...It's been a long time since I last post sth on this blog and lots has happened since then.

I have finished my exam and I manage to get a 1st class although the result was worse than expected. Maybe I might need to skip less lectures and finish my coursework earlier.

Other than that, I just been through my second kungfu grading. The 2nd grading was awesome as again I stayed throughout the whole grading, and able to watch higher level belt students sparring. It was exciting and breathtaking.

I performed for the first time in London although it just for a small event. But still, it feels really different, performing outside of Malaysia. After the performance, I feel that I still got much to improve, I still got a long way to my very own guzheng concert.

I fell sick for the past 2 days. It has been a terrible experience, gruesome I would say. I had fever, intense headache (like the brain is crushed by an invisible hand), cough, sore throat and also fatigue. But I think I'm recovering quite well after a few days of continuous sleep.

Easter holiday is just around the corner but I dont really anticipate the coming of the holiday. Everyone will be off for holiday and so by then, I will be alone in the hall. So what's my plan for Easter? I have no idea at all.

Exams....

Exams coming and I have been slacking a lot lately....
I become bedphillic, grey's anatomy-addicted, always in low energy state....
Go away laziness.....
I need to study....
CONCENTRATE AND STUDY HARD.....
Birthday coming too...I'm going to be freaking 21.... OMG..What have I accomplished in the past 21 year? Looks like I'm going to spend my last few days as a 20 years old studying..

Haha...
Well that's for now. I have kungfu training tonight, excited.

叶子

叶子（"蔷薇之恋"片尾曲）阿桑
作曲：陈晓娟 作词：陈晓娟 编曲：洪筠慧
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

做功课时听到了这首歌,刚好描写了我的心情.

游子的辛酸

第一次离开家那么久,不知不觉就想起了家的温暖,怀念家乡的热情.
离乡背井是很多人的梦想,也包括我在内.
但在一个人生地不熟的异乡,有是受到的委屈及辛酸都得往内心吞下.
身为长子及想当一个堂堂正正的男子汉,便会不想把所受的委屈告诉给家人听,害怕父母操心.
但有时还是很想当个小孩子把心中不舒服的全发泄给父母亲,说了又但心他们过分操心便假装没事,硬硬撑下去.
在伦敦这漫长的三个月里经历了无数的酸甜苦辣,被最信任的人背叛及抛弃,就不知不觉掉入人生的最低潮,一个难以爬出的谷底.一直以来以为你最相信的人是可以永远地依靠,永远可以信任的.但事实并非如想象中那么的完美.
我真希望有个知己能够分享一切的酸甜苦辣,以让心中所承担的发泄出来.

An emo post

Birthday is something everyone looks forward to.
Birthday is a day where you are the king or queen of the kingdom.
Birthday is when all your best friends come to you to wish you a happy birthday.
Birthday is one freaking awesome day where you have your own birthday cake surrounded by wishes and gifts from all your friends.

That's what I used to think birthday means.
But well maybe it just don't apply to me though.

My 21st birthday will fall on my first day of exam. So I think I will treat myself to an expensive lunch after exam and that's all. I don't hope for anything because disappoinment haunts me everytime I hope for the best on this very special day or rather a day I used to value a lot.

I lost my interest and confidence in this day. I mean how many people in this world has their birthday forgotten by those they loved and valued a lot. How many people cried on their birthday because those arround them arent sensitive enough to take into consideration of this very special day.

What i believe now is celebrate it yourself, far from others, buy yourself something good, go shopping and have a luxurious meal. That's what I will stick to from now onwards because no high hope will not land you in extreme disappoinment.

I envy those around me where their birthday is celebrated majesticly by those who care for them. I cried every single time when I watched what others had did for them. It so touching because I will never be treated like that. That's when I lost confidence in celebrating birthday. Birthday is just an ordinary day in the year nothing more nothing less.

Well if you ask me whether I have memorable birthday before? Well twice I would say. And those 2 birthday are long time ago. I appreciated those who make it memorable. They are my 16th and 18th birthday. Now I have memorable birthday as well. Memorable as how pathetic they were.

For my 21st birthday, I would wish that I will never have any birthday anymore. That's what I wish for.

My 1st kungfu grading

I have had my first kungfu grading on sunday 6th Dec...
For those who had not been following my blog. I have been learning shaolin kungfu at University of London Student Union centre and it has been more than 2 months.

The grading day didnt start very smoothly as my crazy neighbour brought lots of noisy high pitched girls and guys to his room for party until dont-know-wat-freaking-time after midnight. So I didnt have enough sleep and have to forced myself out of my comfortable warm bed to the cold hostile environment at 630am. ( I find myself very bedphilic recently) I bathe and tried to force myself to bite into the chocolate swiss roll and drank a cup of nestum but I'm running late.

Then I put on my coat brought my stuff after doing a final check on the stuff that I need to bring. I sprinted to the nearby tube station - King's Cross in dark as the sun had not risen yet although it's 5 minutes to 8am. King's Cross is the station that is mentioned in Harry Potter series. This is where they board the train at 3/4 platform to Hogwarts. I was told that there's actually a platform 3/4 but due to time restrain, I resisted the temptation. In this unfamiliar station, I topped up the oyster card and got onto the tube. The tube was fast and without knowing it, I reached my destination- London Bridge Station.

Walking out of the tube station, I noticed that it was drizzling and it is freaking cold. The worst thing is I dont really know the direction to the grading venue- Roland house (or is it Boland House). I had a map from sifu and tried to find my way. Luckily after several fail attempts which cost me 15 minutes, I saw a boy in a uniform with his father. With stalking, I managed to reach the place in time (actually was very early). We started doing warm up after changing into our uniform.
At that very moment, I noticed that the people who come for grading is really from different walk of life and different ages too. There're kids in merely 6 to 7 years old to old uncles and aunties. I was nervous. What if I failed? What if I humiliate myself in front of all those people watching.

Times wait for noone. And at last my turn. We were graded in groups of around 6-7. So we nervously did basic punch, shoulder punch, mid section punch, upright punch, consecutive side kick, front kick and some kungfu forms. I dint really know what I was doing as my heart was pounding fast. I just told myself "be calm and just sit low". (Sitting low for the horse stance). After few minutes of sweating and heart racing like crazy, I finished my part. I finished my grading.

I stayed back to watch the seniors for their grading. From white belt, which is mine, you can go up to yellow, green, blue, brown and belt. For each colour, there'll be 2 levels. The grading was intense and really exciting to watch, especially the sparring. For those who dont know what sparring is, it is like boxing combined with lots of kungfu techniques as well. Sparring is something I really scared of. I have very poor body eye coordination and I really dont want to get hurt. But nevertheless it was fun to watch. There was 2 nosebleed incident throughout the whole grading but the most interesting part was the grading of 2 second lvl brown belt.

From seniors sitting nearby, I heard that they commented that the 2 brown belt stance were quite weak and poor. The examiners were all shaking their hand during the whole process. As a result, for the sparring, the brown belt were paired up with 5 of the best blue belt students continuously non stop. The blue belts were amazing. They use all the energy beating up the brown belt despite the fact that, the brown belt were supposed to be superior over them. Maybe they were tired but that's not a good excuse to being kicked at the ass by your supposed-to-be juniors. One of the blue belt was superb. He jump kicked at the brown belt and he literally flew away due to the kick. The scene is just breathtaking.

There was a kid worth mentioning here as well. There was one girl (I guess in her 10-12 years old) grading for blue belt. There was lots of kids in yellow and green belt as well but they were not required for sparring. But she have to spar. She was paired up with black belt woman of her size as all the other blue belt were at least few head taller than her. But she was so amazing. She performed all the side kicks, all kinds of kicks and punches beautifully. Everyone was cheering for her. When she finished, I saw tears from her eyes. I guess sparring is really painful despite all those body armour and etc. The black belt was going soft on her as well as she was only a kid. But she did showed me a courage above her age and techniques far more superior than most.

Wow what a long post haha... I should definitely stop here and get some sleep. Anyway if everything ok, I will be a yellow belt by Thursday. Hehe

Officially locked....

Well finally....

Lets celebrate the "privatization" of my blog..

But wait till weekends, I will post some updates because I'm going to practise my guzheng tonight...So wont have time for blogging yet...

I promise sth new soon

Apart from being LAZY due to the cold weather which draws me to deep hibernation everyday, I'm quite busy with my kungfu training and also my guzheng lesson....
Well those are excuses for me being lazy....
I'm living an awesome life now despite the fact that I usually do stuff alone.
Well what to do? Life is always imperfect but it will be perfect from some point of view. So I decided to look on the bright side of the picture. For example, I got to learn guzheng from a true master in London because even in my wildest dream, I dint dream of learning guzheng in London especially in my first year. Lucky I guess.

FYI, my guzheng teacher is Mdm (I guess because she's married already) Zhu Xiao Meng朱小萌. She is a fantastic teacher whom I hope to learn lots from. As I dont have a guzheng in London, I'm forced to rent a small guzheng from the chinese community centre for 30 pounds a month. The guzheng was terrible as it's smaller than standard size, the sound cannot come out nicely especially the lower sound part. I wanted to buy a guzheng asap even turn to the resort that I would normally avoid, buying online. Buying musical instruments online is not a safe option as you cant feel the instruments, you cant hear the sound it produce. Upon hearing my dilemma, my teacher lend me her guzheng so that I can practice on it and offer to help me find a 2nd hand guzheng. The guzheng belongs to my teacher and the sound was superb. Even though she barely know me for just 1 month, she entrusted her guzheng to me.....

Well that's enough for now. You all will hear from me soon after I officially lock my blog....Cheers