It seems like yesterday when I last posted something on my so called "blog" and yet today a sudden urge, a nothing-to-do feeling brought me back to this familiar but yet alien place.
Last time I wrote on this blog, I was still living in intercollegiate hall, where food and all kind of bills is non of my business. Life was easy and yet it was tough as well. Now I am living in a house with 2 other housemates and need to cook and cook for all meals. It is tiring. It was like YESTERDAY.
I am pretty sure I dint do well in my Course C paper 1, actually I think I flunk it. But yet life continues and I have to be strong, to face the world. I just started my second semester of my second year. The first day, i was so enthusiastic and full with energy as I told myself "Aylwin you can do better this time." But this course is rather discouraging. No information posted yet? No course document to inform us on what we are about to study in this semester even though it is already the 3rd day of the new semester? And yet I still have to do my best. During exams, I reminded myself of how lucky I am. Quoting from my facebook status "
Thinking of the less fortunate people, the older generation who didnt/dont have the chance to get good education and yet we do. So does it matters much if I need to skip birthday and CNY this year to study for exams? Nope. I will study hard for their sake (trying to self-motivate) as Education triumph over everything (Birthday and CNY)." I mean seriously we are lucky to be able to receive good education no matter where we are studying, we are lucky.
And hence TODAY
Live in the present. Appreciate all the moments you have with your love ones. Cherish all the little details, minor parts of your life that you have not even noticed, like how good bathing under hot shower, like the warmth of your duvet, and like the fact that you are breathing, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide are always taken for granted.
But still sometimes, optimism runs low while sorrow and grief take over. Tears start to drench the cheeks and out of nowhere, the loneliness creeps out and bury me alive. Is life worth living? (Dont worry. I am not going to end my life that easily)
And hence TOMORROW.
We always hope that tomorrow will be better. But will it? Tomorrow is always full with so many mystery and uncertainties, which makes it so scary. The future is like a black hole, with infinity within it which makes it so intimidating. But time and tides wait for noone. Cry if you need to but just remember, after the wiping off the tears, look clearer into your life. Is tomorrow really that frightening?
Wow my post is full of contradiction, lots of disagreements in my thoughts. But hey life is like that! Full of opposites! Whenever you feel sad, you must have felt happy before. Whenever you felt hungry, you must have been full and satisfied before. So why do we keep digging into all this negative moments and ignoring all the positive memories? Well we are human who likes to suffer. haha
Enough of crapping on this blog. Bye
