Sunday, December 20, 2009

An emo post

Birthday is something everyone looks forward to.
Birthday is a day where you are the king or queen of the kingdom.
Birthday is when all your best friends come to you to wish you a happy birthday.
Birthday is one freaking awesome day where you have your own birthday cake surrounded by wishes and gifts from all your friends.

That's what I used to think birthday means.
But well maybe it just don't apply to me though.

My 21st birthday will fall on my first day of exam. So I think I will treat myself to an expensive lunch after exam and that's all. I don't hope for anything because disappoinment haunts me everytime I hope for the best on this very special day or rather a day I used to value a lot.

I lost my interest and confidence in this day. I mean how many people in this world has their birthday forgotten by those they loved and valued a lot. How many people cried on their birthday because those arround them arent sensitive enough to take into consideration of this very special day.

What i believe now is celebrate it yourself, far from others, buy yourself something good, go shopping and have a luxurious meal. That's what I will stick to from now onwards because no high hope will not land you in extreme disappoinment.

I envy those around me where their birthday is celebrated majesticly by those who care for them. I cried every single time when I watched what others had did for them. It so touching because I will never be treated like that. That's when I lost confidence in celebrating birthday. Birthday is just an ordinary day in the year nothing more nothing less.

Well if you ask me whether I have memorable birthday before? Well twice I would say. And those 2 birthday are long time ago. I appreciated those who make it memorable. They are my 16th and 18th birthday. Now I have memorable birthday as well. Memorable as how pathetic they were.

For my 21st birthday, I would wish that I will never have any birthday anymore. That's what I wish for.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My 1st kungfu grading

I have had my first kungfu grading on sunday 6th Dec...
For those who had not been following my blog. I have been learning shaolin kungfu at University of London Student Union centre and it has been more than 2 months.

The grading day didnt start very smoothly as my crazy neighbour brought lots of noisy high pitched girls and guys to his room for party until dont-know-wat-freaking-time after midnight. So I didnt have enough sleep and have to forced myself out of my comfortable warm bed to the cold hostile environment at 630am. ( I find myself very bedphilic recently) I bathe and tried to force myself to bite into the chocolate swiss roll and drank a cup of nestum but I'm running late.

Then I put on my coat brought my stuff after doing a final check on the stuff that I need to bring. I sprinted to the nearby tube station - King's Cross in dark as the sun had not risen yet although it's 5 minutes to 8am. King's Cross is the station that is mentioned in Harry Potter series. This is where they board the train at 3/4 platform to Hogwarts. I was told that there's actually a platform 3/4 but due to time restrain, I resisted the temptation. In this unfamiliar station, I topped up the oyster card and got onto the tube. The tube was fast and without knowing it, I reached my destination- London Bridge Station.

Walking out of the tube station, I noticed that it was drizzling and it is freaking cold. The worst thing is I dont really know the direction to the grading venue- Roland house (or is it Boland House). I had a map from sifu and tried to find my way. Luckily after several fail attempts which cost me 15 minutes, I saw a boy in a uniform with his father. With stalking, I managed to reach the place in time (actually was very early). We started doing warm up after changing into our uniform.
At that very moment, I noticed that the people who come for grading is really from different walk of life and different ages too. There're kids in merely 6 to 7 years old to old uncles and aunties. I was nervous. What if I failed? What if I humiliate myself in front of all those people watching.

Times wait for noone. And at last my turn. We were graded in groups of around 6-7. So we nervously did basic punch, shoulder punch, mid section punch, upright punch, consecutive side kick, front kick and some kungfu forms. I dint really know what I was doing as my heart was pounding fast. I just told myself "be calm and just sit low". (Sitting low for the horse stance). After few minutes of sweating and heart racing like crazy, I finished my part. I finished my grading.

I stayed back to watch the seniors for their grading. From white belt, which is mine, you can go up to yellow, green, blue, brown and belt. For each colour, there'll be 2 levels. The grading was intense and really exciting to watch, especially the sparring. For those who dont know what sparring is, it is like boxing combined with lots of kungfu techniques as well. Sparring is something I really scared of. I have very poor body eye coordination and I really dont want to get hurt. But nevertheless it was fun to watch. There was 2 nosebleed incident throughout the whole grading but the most interesting part was the grading of 2 second lvl brown belt.

From seniors sitting nearby, I heard that they commented that the 2 brown belt stance were quite weak and poor. The examiners were all shaking their hand during the whole process. As a result, for the sparring, the brown belt were paired up with 5 of the best blue belt students continuously non stop. The blue belts were amazing. They use all the energy beating up the brown belt despite the fact that, the brown belt were supposed to be superior over them. Maybe they were tired but that's not a good excuse to being kicked at the ass by your supposed-to-be juniors. One of the blue belt was superb. He jump kicked at the brown belt and he literally flew away due to the kick. The scene is just breathtaking.

There was a kid worth mentioning here as well. There was one girl (I guess in her 10-12 years old) grading for blue belt. There was lots of kids in yellow and green belt as well but they were not required for sparring. But she have to spar. She was paired up with black belt woman of her size as all the other blue belt were at least few head taller than her. But she was so amazing. She performed all the side kicks, all kinds of kicks and punches beautifully. Everyone was cheering for her. When she finished, I saw tears from her eyes. I guess sparring is really painful despite all those body armour and etc. The black belt was going soft on her as well as she was only a kid. But she did showed me a courage above her age and techniques far more superior than most.

Wow what a long post haha... I should definitely stop here and get some sleep. Anyway if everything ok, I will be a yellow belt by Thursday. Hehe