Tuesday, October 27, 2009


I feel so alone...
I feel that I dont have much true friends around.
I feel that I dont even have someone that I can hang around with.
I feel that I dont even have a friend that can lend me his/her shoulder to cry at after coughing for whole day and feel like dying.
I feel that I dont even have someone who I can find to go shopping with me.
Especially in London.

Am I too picky?
Am I too anti social?

I just want to stick to people I feel comfortable with but I dont seem to find any...

Am I asking too much?

It's just so sad that when I feeling down, the only place where I can turn to is my laptop, and this lonely blog where nobody read at all. So sad right? As if I'm talking to myself.....

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Updates of my life

Well enough of the emotional nonsense which I'm sure most of you don't even want to read about. Now the real stuff about my recent adventure in London.

The School of pharmacy lectures are getting much demanding now. It's not because you cant catch the British ascent but just that you have forgotten everything that you have previously learnt during A level. I have at least 10 hrs lecture per weeks, 3-6 hrs practicals weekly and this has not include all those pharmacy visiting, patient interviewing, academic tutor meeting and other stuff. But most of the lectures are interesting at least for me.

Extracurricular activities have taken lots of my time. From my previous post, I've mentioned that I joined a few clubs and societies at ULU (University of London Student Union). Something worth mentioning is the Shaolin Kungfu Club which have training for 3 hrs for 2 days in a week. Crazy you might say? So why do I joined this time consuming club? Self defense is something that interest me since primary school and I had always wanted to joined one. Therefore it's almost like dream come true.

Shaolin kungfu or more specifically Nam Pai Quan is quite demanding for someone who have not done any self defence in his life before like me. Side kick, front kick, jump kick, punch, blocks and etc are all new to me. A friend of mine advise me not to join self defense as I might get hurt. And ya, I was hurt on my fingers and muscle pain all over the body. For the previous training session, we formed a circle and instead of passing a baton around, we passed punch/kick while blocking punch/kick from someone beside you. The difficult part is when 4 punch is passing around in the circle at the same time. So to avoid being punched or kicked, you have to be alert and react fast. Are your partner punching or kicking? And how to block it? The worst thing that happen to me is the guy next to me is punching and kicking with full strength. What's his problem? Trying to kill me? I really have no idea. So that's how I ended up with mild injury on my thumb and finger. Haiz... But I will continue my lessons.


As an international students in a foreign land, I feel very unsecured and less confident of myself. I hope that through learning martial arts, I can build up my confidence and feel more secured. I don't expect myself to fight any evil I face in London. (Watched too much Charmed online. For those who don't know what's Charmed, shame on you haha... wikipedia search Charmed, watch some episodes online and be indulged in the magical world.) But at least I know my option when I face with real troublesome situation. Won't you rather get hurt while learning self defence than getting your life in danger in the real world? I want to give myself options if I ever encounter with life threatening situations in the future. So friends in Malaysia, beware. Don't piss me off when I return to Malaysia, you might get a black eye or worse broken bones from me if you are not careful. Haha just joking as if I will hurt my friends.

I miss guzheng a lot and I have done some research online, trying to find a decent guzheng teacher and also a guzheng. As sending my guzheng from Kuching is very costly, I'm considering the option to buy one here either through online or from some shops. Hopefully I will find my new soul mate soon, and by soul mate I mean my new guzheng. Don't have awkward thoughts.

That's all from me here in London.

Life as a fresher in London

Life as a fresher has never been easy for anyone, especially if you are an international student living in one of the largest metropolitan in the world. (Not to scare future students from coming to London but just as a caution nudge on you all. Are you aware of the disadvantage of studying in London or rather in general UK).

As an international student, the first few weeks will be very tough or rather challenging as you have to struggle through mental and physical obstacles. The first war most will encounter is sickness. You will be haunted by illness with symptoms such as cough, sore throat, tiredness, and fever. Why you may ask? Are we so vulnerable to diseases? The answer is YES. As a foreigner on this unexplored land by ourselves, we are not immune to the local sickness as what we used to have when we are at hometown. The strain of bacteria and virus at overseas is unfamiliar to our immune system. We don't have the antibody to fight the diseases and hence, sick for a long time. Furthermore the doctors and pharmacist here are not that helpful at all. If you visit a GP with sore throat or cold, they will just send you off with no advice and medicine. Pharmacist are not helpful at all too. However maybe this is the right thing to do although it is different from what we usually encounter in Malaysia.

Taking medication for mild cold, cough or fever will only weaken our immune system as our natural body resistance against illness is not built up. For example, imagine a country with army but only rely on bombs, missile or nuclear weapon to fight off enemy, will they be able to fend enemy off if they are out of ammunition. But sometimes, you do feel as if you are about to die in this foreign land where nobody will even realise that you are dead until the stench of your decaying corpse reach your neighbours' nose. That's when you start to miss home, the comfort of your own bed, the love from everyone who care for you, the familiarity of everything, the freedom to eat anything you want, the dependant life on your parents. Tears will start to flow down your cheeks, drowning all the face cells on its way.

Life is depressing but maybe you will find the sunshine behind all the dark clouds. However, it is really difficult to feel warmth from anyone else, because of the cold weather? Everything seems to be so difficult as you have to complete it by yourself and you cant rely on others. I'm feeling deja vu to relive over the most difficult part of my life, which is when I transferred school. But this is many times more difficult than that. The feeling of loneliness and incompetence is amplified. New bonds with new friends have to be forge but sometimes, you just feel so lazy to do that. If you don't forge any bonds, you might not get any friends at all, friends to take care of you when you are sick, friends who can give advice when shopping, friends whom you can be with and feel safe. You might be alone during festive seasons, alone during your birthday and no one to live with you when you are going to move out of the hall of residence. And that's why you get very emotional, reluctant to talk, the feeling to lock yourself in your room.


People smoking everywhere. People drinking alcohols everywhere. Everyone seems so cold everywhere.

Maybe it's because you locked your door to your heart? Reluctant to try new friendship? Scared of failure? Worried about getting yourself embarrassed? I also don't know the reason. I should stop babbling nonsense here.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

London School Of Pharmacy

The School of Pharmacy, University of London the stage of my 4 years life.

The School of Pharmacy is the only institution dedicated to teaching pharmacy only in UK. For those who don't know, the School of Pharmacy (SOP) is not part of Kings, UCL or Imperial. (Cos I was asked countless time). It is part of University of London. So after 4 years, I will be getting a University of London degree. UOL is considered one of the top 3 uni in UK in par with Camridge and Oxford. According to wikipedia, "at least 4 monarch, 50 presidents or prime ministers, 56 Nobel laureates, 6 Grammy winners, 2 Oscar winners and 3 Olympic gold medalists" were in UOL. Cool right?

The School of Pharmacy is awesome and I would strongly recommend it to anyone considering pharmacist as a future career. Why? All the staff in SOP is dedicated to teaching pharmacy only. So you will get neuroscientist, physiologist, pharmacologist, scientist, chemist, and all kinds of specialist teaching you. For example, for my biochemistry class, I have around 5 lecturers each covering topics of their specialty.

Moreover, since the school is small (when compared to other Uni), we are known as individuals and not as number. The staff are really friendly. The receptionist will greet u every time and tell joke to u. N since we are all assigned to an academic tutor, we will have extra help when needed. My academic tutor is Dr Arnaud Ruiz, a french pharmacist specialised in neuroscience. The lecturers are all so amazing. My classmates comprises only merely 27 international students (if not mistaken) n 160 local UK students. Ya i know the numbers of UK students is so overwhelming.

The dean of SOP, Professor Anthony Smith is one of the most influential person in pharmacist community. For example, he's the chairperson of Chair of the Council of University Heads of Pharmacy (CUHOP) which oversees the pharmacy education and research in UK.

Studying in SOP entitled me to join ULU( University of London Student Union). I have currently joined St John Ambulance, Buddhist Society and Shaolin Kungfu Club which is going to consume my night time from Mon to Thurs. Wise choice? I also dont know. Joining St John is to brush up my first aid skills. I was a first aider long time ago but the first aid cert already expired. As a pharmacist, I'm sure that first aid knowledge is quite crucial. Buddhist society will assist in my learning of Buddhism while Kungfu club will definitely trained me with self defense and make me healthier? I have also sign up for Guzheng class in chinatown which is around 15 minutes walk from my hall for every Saturday. Although it is just a Chinese Community Centre with a teacher teaching all instruments, I finally found a place where I can practise. It's 5 pounds for 2 hours.

Photos will be posted in due course.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

An update from London

Finally blogging from London.
Sorry for the delay pals. (as if people read my blog)
I've been in London for almost 12 days and this is my first blog.

Let me share a few tales of my adventure in London with you all.

The first evening was depressing. After a 14 hours of flight, hours at airport customs and taxi ride, we arrived at the intercollegiate hall thirsty, hungry and tired. Deprived of sleep, everything seemed crappy to me. The hall was depressing. The light was dim. The room looks like an old fashioned motel. N worst, the bed is terrible. The duvet cover is rough, uncomfortable and ugly. But I survived the night.

Life was like at the bottom of oceanic trench where darkness and loneliness feeds and breeds. I was depressed. Well that's the bad part of it. However after some serious shopping and investments for a few days, I have transformed my bed into a cosy little nest. I did spent lots but hey, a bed is where u spend half of your time on it anyway. Is it worth it? You tell me.

The weather in London was lovely the first week with sunshine almost everyday. The sunny day pumps you up with lots of energy and optimism. (Maybe I can photosynthesis?) It is cool all around the day as if you were in a gigantic air-conditioned room with no boundary. But the sunny weather turns chilly as it starts to drizzle. The sun went hidden behind the gloomy looking cloud and refused to share even a little bit of her warm sun ray.

London is really a compact city with every inch of the land not spared, either with a park, buildings or roads. Everything is within walking distance literally but it still depends on how you define the term "walking distance". We walked to everywhere, following maps and occasionally got lost and ended up somewhere else. For the first few days, we need sightseeing at the British Museum, Big Ben, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, London Eye and etc. It was walking and more walking. We walked everywhere as long as our worn out feet can take us. Why? You may ask. It's simple. Everything cost a bomb. A bus ride costs 2 pounds (RM 12) and tube costs 1.8.

At London, sometimes you don't feel like eating or buying anything at all due to the fact that everything is multiplied by 6. That's why when we went to Primark, it was like heaven to us. Duvet cover 6 pounds, shirt at 4 pounds, trousers at 4 pounds also and etc. Everything was cheap and affordable.

Since I live in a catered hall, breakfast and dinner is not sth of my concern. As long as I reach the cafeteria in time even if sometimes, I have to run, I will have food nicely done for me. The food is edible with some oddity where either it's not consumable or it's heavenly good. Breakfast is the same everyday but what to complain since it's nicely done for us. However, I do miss cooking where you can cook meals that you like according to your tastebud and mood.

Life is not as hectic as rumours used to say it is. My room is quiet 24/7 so I can get rest whenever I want because it is sheltered from the main road. I'm settling down. No more jet lag, no more complains. This is a new journey filled with challenges but I'm sure I will be able to cope with it as I aspired to become a great pharmacist and a great pharmacist will not be defeated by puny problems. So to all my friends, don't worry about me and most importantly, my regards from London to all.

PS: For more photos, go to my facebook acc.