An emo post

Birthday is something everyone looks forward to.
Birthday is a day where you are the king or queen of the kingdom.
Birthday is when all your best friends come to you to wish you a happy birthday.
Birthday is one freaking awesome day where you have your own birthday cake surrounded by wishes and gifts from all your friends.

That's what I used to think birthday means.
But well maybe it just don't apply to me though.

My 21st birthday will fall on my first day of exam. So I think I will treat myself to an expensive lunch after exam and that's all. I don't hope for anything because disappoinment haunts me everytime I hope for the best on this very special day or rather a day I used to value a lot.

I lost my interest and confidence in this day. I mean how many people in this world has their birthday forgotten by those they loved and valued a lot. How many people cried on their birthday because those arround them arent sensitive enough to take into consideration of this very special day.

What i believe now is celebrate it yourself, far from others, buy yourself something good, go shopping and have a luxurious meal. That's what I will stick to from now onwards because no high hope will not land you in extreme disappoinment.

I envy those around me where their birthday is celebrated majesticly by those who care for them. I cried every single time when I watched what others had did for them. It so touching because I will never be treated like that. That's when I lost confidence in celebrating birthday. Birthday is just an ordinary day in the year nothing more nothing less.

Well if you ask me whether I have memorable birthday before? Well twice I would say. And those 2 birthday are long time ago. I appreciated those who make it memorable. They are my 16th and 18th birthday. Now I have memorable birthday as well. Memorable as how pathetic they were.

For my 21st birthday, I would wish that I will never have any birthday anymore. That's what I wish for.

My 1st kungfu grading

I have had my first kungfu grading on sunday 6th Dec...
For those who had not been following my blog. I have been learning shaolin kungfu at University of London Student Union centre and it has been more than 2 months.

The grading day didnt start very smoothly as my crazy neighbour brought lots of noisy high pitched girls and guys to his room for party until dont-know-wat-freaking-time after midnight. So I didnt have enough sleep and have to forced myself out of my comfortable warm bed to the cold hostile environment at 630am. ( I find myself very bedphilic recently) I bathe and tried to force myself to bite into the chocolate swiss roll and drank a cup of nestum but I'm running late.

Then I put on my coat brought my stuff after doing a final check on the stuff that I need to bring. I sprinted to the nearby tube station - King's Cross in dark as the sun had not risen yet although it's 5 minutes to 8am. King's Cross is the station that is mentioned in Harry Potter series. This is where they board the train at 3/4 platform to Hogwarts. I was told that there's actually a platform 3/4 but due to time restrain, I resisted the temptation. In this unfamiliar station, I topped up the oyster card and got onto the tube. The tube was fast and without knowing it, I reached my destination- London Bridge Station.

Walking out of the tube station, I noticed that it was drizzling and it is freaking cold. The worst thing is I dont really know the direction to the grading venue- Roland house (or is it Boland House). I had a map from sifu and tried to find my way. Luckily after several fail attempts which cost me 15 minutes, I saw a boy in a uniform with his father. With stalking, I managed to reach the place in time (actually was very early). We started doing warm up after changing into our uniform.
At that very moment, I noticed that the people who come for grading is really from different walk of life and different ages too. There're kids in merely 6 to 7 years old to old uncles and aunties. I was nervous. What if I failed? What if I humiliate myself in front of all those people watching.

Times wait for noone. And at last my turn. We were graded in groups of around 6-7. So we nervously did basic punch, shoulder punch, mid section punch, upright punch, consecutive side kick, front kick and some kungfu forms. I dint really know what I was doing as my heart was pounding fast. I just told myself "be calm and just sit low". (Sitting low for the horse stance). After few minutes of sweating and heart racing like crazy, I finished my part. I finished my grading.

I stayed back to watch the seniors for their grading. From white belt, which is mine, you can go up to yellow, green, blue, brown and belt. For each colour, there'll be 2 levels. The grading was intense and really exciting to watch, especially the sparring. For those who dont know what sparring is, it is like boxing combined with lots of kungfu techniques as well. Sparring is something I really scared of. I have very poor body eye coordination and I really dont want to get hurt. But nevertheless it was fun to watch. There was 2 nosebleed incident throughout the whole grading but the most interesting part was the grading of 2 second lvl brown belt.

From seniors sitting nearby, I heard that they commented that the 2 brown belt stance were quite weak and poor. The examiners were all shaking their hand during the whole process. As a result, for the sparring, the brown belt were paired up with 5 of the best blue belt students continuously non stop. The blue belts were amazing. They use all the energy beating up the brown belt despite the fact that, the brown belt were supposed to be superior over them. Maybe they were tired but that's not a good excuse to being kicked at the ass by your supposed-to-be juniors. One of the blue belt was superb. He jump kicked at the brown belt and he literally flew away due to the kick. The scene is just breathtaking.

There was a kid worth mentioning here as well. There was one girl (I guess in her 10-12 years old) grading for blue belt. There was lots of kids in yellow and green belt as well but they were not required for sparring. But she have to spar. She was paired up with black belt woman of her size as all the other blue belt were at least few head taller than her. But she was so amazing. She performed all the side kicks, all kinds of kicks and punches beautifully. Everyone was cheering for her. When she finished, I saw tears from her eyes. I guess sparring is really painful despite all those body armour and etc. The black belt was going soft on her as well as she was only a kid. But she did showed me a courage above her age and techniques far more superior than most.

Wow what a long post haha... I should definitely stop here and get some sleep. Anyway if everything ok, I will be a yellow belt by Thursday. Hehe

Officially locked....

Well finally....

Lets celebrate the "privatization" of my blog..

But wait till weekends, I will post some updates because I'm going to practise my guzheng tonight...So wont have time for blogging yet...

I promise sth new soon

Apart from being LAZY due to the cold weather which draws me to deep hibernation everyday, I'm quite busy with my kungfu training and also my guzheng lesson....
Well those are excuses for me being lazy....
I'm living an awesome life now despite the fact that I usually do stuff alone.
Well what to do? Life is always imperfect but it will be perfect from some point of view. So I decided to look on the bright side of the picture. For example, I got to learn guzheng from a true master in London because even in my wildest dream, I dint dream of learning guzheng in London especially in my first year. Lucky I guess.

FYI, my guzheng teacher is Mdm (I guess because she's married already) Zhu Xiao Meng朱小萌. She is a fantastic teacher whom I hope to learn lots from. As I dont have a guzheng in London, I'm forced to rent a small guzheng from the chinese community centre for 30 pounds a month. The guzheng was terrible as it's smaller than standard size, the sound cannot come out nicely especially the lower sound part. I wanted to buy a guzheng asap even turn to the resort that I would normally avoid, buying online. Buying musical instruments online is not a safe option as you cant feel the instruments, you cant hear the sound it produce. Upon hearing my dilemma, my teacher lend me her guzheng so that I can practice on it and offer to help me find a 2nd hand guzheng. The guzheng belongs to my teacher and the sound was superb. Even though she barely know me for just 1 month, she entrusted her guzheng to me.....

Well that's enough for now. You all will hear from me soon after I officially lock my blog....Cheers

Hey need ur email address

I plan to lock my blog in this few days and I think some of you have even receive an invitation to view the blog.
However the problem I'm facing now is I dont have all the email of all the person I want to invite. So please leave ur email here... It will be safe as the blog will not be viewed by anyone other than the people I invited.
Anyway you can also email me via my email address aylwin89@hotmail.com

Hey going to lock my blog soon

I'm planning to turn my blog private, only for invited readers. So to get invited please leave a comment here. I will include readers who have previously leave comment for me...
Why? I want to turn this blog into my personal e-diary and will be only accessible to certain individuals.
Thanks for ur support.

Help.....

Help.....

Lots of questions waiting to be solved. Lots of obstacles queueing up in front of the journey.

My body don't seem to be able to take it.
I vomited twice this morning. And everyday after breakfast, I feel like vomiting and few days in a week, I vomit... It's an awful feeling....

The weather is getting really chilly. Your face feel like freezing and it's just the beginning of Autumn?

Haiz.....

Who to move in with?

ARRRRRRRRRR.....

This is really bothering me.... I recovering from my illness but I'm not completely out of the virus/bacteria grasp yet. And this question really took a heavy toll on my health, mentally and physically.

I know now you cant really rely on anyone.

But I really have no idea who I want to move in with.

I dont have much friends in London and I dont really make friends that easily. I have no idea who to turn to? All my true friends are just far far away.

Hey someone you move in will be someone you need to live with for 3 years. It really feel like short time marriage minus the wedding rings but how to choose?

But I dont think I have the liberty to choose anyway. I dont have any choice....

I'm worried that I might be the one whom JPA officer told us before we left Malaysia, someone who are forced to return back to Malaysia due to nervous breakdown....But I cant find the energy to continue in this cold unfamiliar metropolitan I just want to be back home....

LONELINESS

I feel so alone...
I feel that I dont have much true friends around.
I feel that I dont even have someone that I can hang around with.
I feel that I dont even have a friend that can lend me his/her shoulder to cry at after coughing for whole day and feel like dying.
I feel that I dont even have someone who I can find to go shopping with me.
Especially in London.

Am I too picky?
Am I too anti social?

I just want to stick to people I feel comfortable with but I dont seem to find any...

Am I asking too much?

It's just so sad that when I feeling down, the only place where I can turn to is my laptop, and this lonely blog where nobody read at all. So sad right? As if I'm talking to myself.....

Updates of my life

Well enough of the emotional nonsense which I'm sure most of you don't even want to read about. Now the real stuff about my recent adventure in London.

The School of pharmacy lectures are getting much demanding now. It's not because you cant catch the British ascent but just that you have forgotten everything that you have previously learnt during A level. I have at least 10 hrs lecture per weeks, 3-6 hrs practicals weekly and this has not include all those pharmacy visiting, patient interviewing, academic tutor meeting and other stuff. But most of the lectures are interesting at least for me.

Extracurricular activities have taken lots of my time. From my previous post, I've mentioned that I joined a few clubs and societies at ULU (University of London Student Union). Something worth mentioning is the Shaolin Kungfu Club which have training for 3 hrs for 2 days in a week. Crazy you might say? So why do I joined this time consuming club? Self defense is something that interest me since primary school and I had always wanted to joined one. Therefore it's almost like dream come true.

Shaolin kungfu or more specifically Nam Pai Quan is quite demanding for someone who have not done any self defence in his life before like me. Side kick, front kick, jump kick, punch, blocks and etc are all new to me. A friend of mine advise me not to join self defense as I might get hurt. And ya, I was hurt on my fingers and muscle pain all over the body. For the previous training session, we formed a circle and instead of passing a baton around, we passed punch/kick while blocking punch/kick from someone beside you. The difficult part is when 4 punch is passing around in the circle at the same time. So to avoid being punched or kicked, you have to be alert and react fast. Are your partner punching or kicking? And how to block it? The worst thing that happen to me is the guy next to me is punching and kicking with full strength. What's his problem? Trying to kill me? I really have no idea. So that's how I ended up with mild injury on my thumb and finger. Haiz... But I will continue my lessons.

WHY?

As an international students in a foreign land, I feel very unsecured and less confident of myself. I hope that through learning martial arts, I can build up my confidence and feel more secured. I don't expect myself to fight any evil I face in London. (Watched too much Charmed online. For those who don't know what's Charmed, shame on you haha... wikipedia search Charmed, watch some episodes online and be indulged in the magical world.) But at least I know my option when I face with real troublesome situation. Won't you rather get hurt while learning self defence than getting your life in danger in the real world? I want to give myself options if I ever encounter with life threatening situations in the future. So friends in Malaysia, beware. Don't piss me off when I return to Malaysia, you might get a black eye or worse broken bones from me if you are not careful. Haha just joking as if I will hurt my friends.

I miss guzheng a lot and I have done some research online, trying to find a decent guzheng teacher and also a guzheng. As sending my guzheng from Kuching is very costly, I'm considering the option to buy one here either through online or from some shops. Hopefully I will find my new soul mate soon, and by soul mate I mean my new guzheng. Don't have awkward thoughts.

That's all from me here in London.

Life as a fresher in London

Life as a fresher has never been easy for anyone, especially if you are an international student living in one of the largest metropolitan in the world. (Not to scare future students from coming to London but just as a caution nudge on you all. Are you aware of the disadvantage of studying in London or rather in general UK).

As an international student, the first few weeks will be very tough or rather challenging as you have to struggle through mental and physical obstacles. The first war most will encounter is sickness. You will be haunted by illness with symptoms such as cough, sore throat, tiredness, and fever. Why you may ask? Are we so vulnerable to diseases? The answer is YES. As a foreigner on this unexplored land by ourselves, we are not immune to the local sickness as what we used to have when we are at hometown. The strain of bacteria and virus at overseas is unfamiliar to our immune system. We don't have the antibody to fight the diseases and hence, sick for a long time. Furthermore the doctors and pharmacist here are not that helpful at all. If you visit a GP with sore throat or cold, they will just send you off with no advice and medicine. Pharmacist are not helpful at all too. However maybe this is the right thing to do although it is different from what we usually encounter in Malaysia.

Taking medication for mild cold, cough or fever will only weaken our immune system as our natural body resistance against illness is not built up. For example, imagine a country with army but only rely on bombs, missile or nuclear weapon to fight off enemy, will they be able to fend enemy off if they are out of ammunition. But sometimes, you do feel as if you are about to die in this foreign land where nobody will even realise that you are dead until the stench of your decaying corpse reach your neighbours' nose. That's when you start to miss home, the comfort of your own bed, the love from everyone who care for you, the familiarity of everything, the freedom to eat anything you want, the dependant life on your parents. Tears will start to flow down your cheeks, drowning all the face cells on its way.

Life is depressing but maybe you will find the sunshine behind all the dark clouds. However, it is really difficult to feel warmth from anyone else, because of the cold weather? Everything seems to be so difficult as you have to complete it by yourself and you cant rely on others. I'm feeling deja vu to relive over the most difficult part of my life, which is when I transferred school. But this is many times more difficult than that. The feeling of loneliness and incompetence is amplified. New bonds with new friends have to be forge but sometimes, you just feel so lazy to do that. If you don't forge any bonds, you might not get any friends at all, friends to take care of you when you are sick, friends who can give advice when shopping, friends whom you can be with and feel safe. You might be alone during festive seasons, alone during your birthday and no one to live with you when you are going to move out of the hall of residence. And that's why you get very emotional, reluctant to talk, the feeling to lock yourself in your room.

WHY IS LONDON LIKE THIS?

People smoking everywhere. People drinking alcohols everywhere. Everyone seems so cold everywhere.

Maybe it's because you locked your door to your heart? Reluctant to try new friendship? Scared of failure? Worried about getting yourself embarrassed? I also don't know the reason. I should stop babbling nonsense here.

London School Of Pharmacy

The School of Pharmacy, University of London the stage of my 4 years life.

The School of Pharmacy is the only institution dedicated to teaching pharmacy only in UK. For those who don't know, the School of Pharmacy (SOP) is not part of Kings, UCL or Imperial. (Cos I was asked countless time). It is part of University of London. So after 4 years, I will be getting a University of London degree. UOL is considered one of the top 3 uni in UK in par with Camridge and Oxford. According to wikipedia, "at least 4 monarch, 50 presidents or prime ministers, 56 Nobel laureates, 6 Grammy winners, 2 Oscar winners and 3 Olympic gold medalists" were in UOL. Cool right?

The School of Pharmacy is awesome and I would strongly recommend it to anyone considering pharmacist as a future career. Why? All the staff in SOP is dedicated to teaching pharmacy only. So you will get neuroscientist, physiologist, pharmacologist, scientist, chemist, and all kinds of specialist teaching you. For example, for my biochemistry class, I have around 5 lecturers each covering topics of their specialty.

Moreover, since the school is small (when compared to other Uni), we are known as individuals and not as number. The staff are really friendly. The receptionist will greet u every time and tell joke to u. N since we are all assigned to an academic tutor, we will have extra help when needed. My academic tutor is Dr Arnaud Ruiz, a french pharmacist specialised in neuroscience. The lecturers are all so amazing. My classmates comprises only merely 27 international students (if not mistaken) n 160 local UK students. Ya i know the numbers of UK students is so overwhelming.

The dean of SOP, Professor Anthony Smith is one of the most influential person in pharmacist community. For example, he's the chairperson of Chair of the Council of University Heads of Pharmacy (CUHOP) which oversees the pharmacy education and research in UK.

Studying in SOP entitled me to join ULU( University of London Student Union). I have currently joined St John Ambulance, Buddhist Society and Shaolin Kungfu Club which is going to consume my night time from Mon to Thurs. Wise choice? I also dont know. Joining St John is to brush up my first aid skills. I was a first aider long time ago but the first aid cert already expired. As a pharmacist, I'm sure that first aid knowledge is quite crucial. Buddhist society will assist in my learning of Buddhism while Kungfu club will definitely trained me with self defense and make me healthier? I have also sign up for Guzheng class in chinatown which is around 15 minutes walk from my hall for every Saturday. Although it is just a Chinese Community Centre with a teacher teaching all instruments, I finally found a place where I can practise. It's 5 pounds for 2 hours.

Photos will be posted in due course.

An update from London

Finally blogging from London.

Sorry for the delay pals. (as if people read my blog)

I've been in London for almost 12 days and this is my first blog.

Let me share a few tales of my adventure in London with you all.

The first evening was depressing. After a 14 hours of flight, hours at airport customs and taxi ride, we arrived at the intercollegiate hall thirsty, hungry and tired. Deprived of sleep, everything seemed crappy to me. The hall was depressing. The light was dim. The room looks like an old fashioned motel. N worst, the bed is terrible. The duvet cover is rough, uncomfortable and ugly. But I survived the night.

Life was like at the bottom of oceanic trench where darkness and loneliness feeds and breeds. I was depressed. Well that's the bad part of it. However after some serious shopping and investments for a few days, I have transformed my bed into a cosy little nest. I did spent lots but hey, a bed is where u spend half of your time on it anyway. Is it worth it? You tell me.

The weather in London was lovely the first week with sunshine almost everyday. The sunny day pumps you up with lots of energy and optimism. (Maybe I can photosynthesis?) It is cool all around the day as if you were in a gigantic air-conditioned room with no boundary. But the sunny weather turns chilly as it starts to drizzle. The sun went hidden behind the gloomy looking cloud and refused to share even a little bit of her warm sun ray.

London is really a compact city with every inch of the land not spared, either with a park, buildings or roads. Everything is within walking distance literally but it still depends on how you define the term "walking distance". We walked to everywhere, following maps and occasionally got lost and ended up somewhere else. For the first few days, we need sightseeing at the British Museum, Big Ben, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, London Eye and etc. It was walking and more walking. We walked everywhere as long as our worn out feet can take us. Why? You may ask. It's simple. Everything cost a bomb. A bus ride costs 2 pounds (RM 12) and tube costs 1.8.

At London, sometimes you don't feel like eating or buying anything at all due to the fact that everything is multiplied by 6. That's why when we went to Primark, it was like heaven to us. Duvet cover 6 pounds, shirt at 4 pounds, trousers at 4 pounds also and etc. Everything was cheap and affordable.

Since I live in a catered hall, breakfast and dinner is not sth of my concern. As long as I reach the cafeteria in time even if sometimes, I have to run, I will have food nicely done for me. The food is edible with some oddity where either it's not consumable or it's heavenly good. Breakfast is the same everyday but what to complain since it's nicely done for us. However, I do miss cooking where you can cook meals that you like according to your tastebud and mood.

Life is not as hectic as rumours used to say it is. My room is quiet 24/7 so I can get rest whenever I want because it is sheltered from the main road. I'm settling down. No more jet lag, no more complains. This is a new journey filled with challenges but I'm sure I will be able to cope with it as I aspired to become a great pharmacist and a great pharmacist will not be defeated by puny problems. So to all my friends, don't worry about me and most importantly, my regards from London to all.

PS: For more photos, go to my facebook acc.

Reporting in soon....

Hey frens...
Sorry for no updates.
I'm tired after uploading photos to facebook.
Everything fine here in London.
I will upload sth soon...

A thank you note to ALL

Initially, I wanted to write this post after a nap. But you know, sometimes the urge to blog is so sudden that u cant suppress it, so strong that u feel so energetic to blog.

Why? U may ask.

Well......

It's 2 days to my journey to UK, which will open many new doors to the chapter of my life. My life will never be the same again, to the better or worse? Hopefully to the better. I will miss Kuching a lot... The food, the people, the air, the atmosphere, my house, my friends, my relatives, my parents, my comfy bedroom, my freedom to drive wherever i want... All these which makes me whole as a human being. (Wow a bit too over the description.)

So goodbye my friends. I will surely miss u all very much but it's a road, a journey, a voyage we all have to endure, a chapter of our story awaits to be written in colours.

Hey my besties (she uses this term haha), thanks for the gift..haha.. Well in UK, dont know we still got the chance to talk for hours thru phone. Maybe...But I dont think we can afford it though.. Never mind life always have a way to surprise us, in some way or another we will sure keep in contact. Hey gambateh!! Ur letter is so touching...sobz.(dry tears haha).. I will not be able to help u to fulfill ur dreams of studying abroad cos it's ur dream and u will fulfill it someday like what u say, ur name signifies the beautiful sunny day after a raging storm. Life will change it course to the better, the calmer seas with beautiful islands. U are a wonderful person so I've no doubt in u that u will succeed in ur life. Studying abroad is something most dream about but hey studying in ur comfort zone and in the warm arms of ur family is also not a bad choice. Who know one day u will continue ur study at overseas and be known as Dr / Professor Kakashi Chyn haha.... All the best...

N hey Alvin buddy. It's my greatest pleasure in knowing u. I dint know u r so "talkative" or better use the term "easy to talk to". I'm also a chatty person so do remember to find me for a chat whenever u need someone to talk to. I'm more than willing and honoured to listen to u. We are buddies and always will be. So dont forget me, someone u must invite for ur wedding, someone u must write to, someone u must update with ur life events, someone who will always be in ur life no matter how hard u try to get rid. Well u have no choice but to surrender to this long lasting friendship. Remember "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP". Goodbye and hope to see u in London 2012..

Next to my relatives for their generosity. I have received blessings in all forms from u all, money wise, I have received more than RM1000. N a special thanks to my aunt who knitted me a scarf. It will keep me warm in the coldest day of winter as it's knitted with love and care. Thank you.

Friends in Kuching, goodbye. I will miss you all. You all have been the greatest chapter of life, one filled with utmost joy and unforgettable memories.

Die... I think my luggage will overweight because I have bring along all the love, care and wishes from friends and family from Malaysia. Hope they don't charge me too much at the airport for the excess luggage. haha.. But no matter how much I need to pay, I will still bring along them as they will be the fuel for my life in UK. THANK YOU and it's time to take a short nap..

Journal of my 3 eventful days at KL

DAY 1 - 26/8 (Wed)
Slept at 2 in the morning as I was rushing to finish my application documents. That's sth I should improvise due to the fact that I always do things last minute. Met lots of roadblock along the way... Frustrated but luckily wonderful friends of mine encouraged me and I got out of the depression cloud.


Woke up early as lots have to be done (to lawyer firm for cert of good conduct, printing out documents, certify photocopies of documents and etc...) It was all a rush and before I know, I'm on a flight to KL.


It was a different flight experience as for the first time, I chat with strangers on plane which of course rescued me from the deep boredom. Thanks to Ms Chang, 25 on my right and Mike, 28 on my left. Ms Chang was a cheerful friendly lady who was the person who approaches me for a conversation immediately after she sat down. We exchanged info on where are we going and a bit of our personal details. Ms Chang is Ogawa staff while Mike is a "special agent" working on "difficult cases" of visa application. What a coincidence! as I'm on my way to KL for my visa application. Initially I wanted to take a nap but instead ended up with a interesting chat with them all throughout the flight.


Amazing how fate is. It brought 3 strangers together who chatted non-stop on flight like we have known each others for a long time but after we landed, we all departed on our own journey and until we cross path again but will we recognise each others?? Maybe not as two of us were wearing mask throughout the flight.


The flight was a bit delayed and by the time I reached Citin hotel after 1 hour bus ride and taxi ride, I was exhausted. Being alone is scary as you need to do everything by yourself with no one to follow. I almost wanted to give up along the journey but I told myself "BE STRONG, AYLWIN".


After checking into hotel, I went for a food hunt as I feel food can heal my mental wound. I went petaling street and bought muachi, fruits, drinks and roasted chestnut as desert ; KFC for dinner set and shrimp stix. By the time I reached hotel, it was raining cats and dogs. Phew...


The hotel was much smaller than expected but what do you expect? 115 per night at KL city.. That's what you will get. Living alone in an unfamiliar place is definitely scary. The hotel seems a bit horrifying with one dark opening on the ceiling which I guess is the air cond. But man, with a full of imagination mind like mine, I kept imagining white long hair figure crawling out from the hole. That's why I left all the lights on when I was sleeping, the tv on when I'm in toilet just to make myself feel safe. I was scared to max but I told myself again "BE STRONG, AYLWIN". Luckily I survived through my first night without any ghastly encounter.



DAY 2 - 27/8 (Thurs)
Lots of missions today and little time to do it. So, I woke up early at 6 sth. Took a bath and tidy up my belongings. Went down for the free buffet breakfast. Then, I took lrt to BTS station to get to UCSI. Met Mei Chi and Swee San. And most unexpectedly, 194. After receiving my result, small chat with Mr Tan, RM1400 withdrawal at CIMB and bank draft at Alliance bank, we took off on our journey again.


By UCSI shuttle, we reached BTS station, we "embark" the KLIA express to Putrajaya. After that with a bus, we arrived at JPA. The bus ride was long, more than 35 minutes as the bus route was long winding. At JPA we met with lots of familiar faces and received our financial affidavit in a short while. However, the time was ticking fast and not much time left until the sun sets. As most of them were going to Mabecs, we departed ways. I went to the bus stop to catch a bus to Foreign Affairs Ministry. After asking around, a malay aunty suggested me to take a bus straight to putra central and then another bus to Foreign Affairs. So I ran back to the others to take taxi with them.


At Foreign Affairs, I crossed path with 5 Ireland bound ladies. So once again, I had accompanies. We chatted through the whole process which took more than 3 hours.

Without lunch, I was starving but slowly hunger was no longer bothering me. After that, I tooked a bus ride to Putra Central. I met a stranger again who approached me for help. I know talking to stranger is dangerous and since childhood, we were educated not to talk to strangers. But now I know how scary it is to be at a place where you're unfamiliar and that you're alone. So I decided to help him. He's a guy in 30++ (I guess) who is a chef in Singapore and came from Ipoh. He was also going to Puduraya bus station so we had the same destination. I brought him along first KLIA transit and then LRT. Well, at least, I helped someone through his difficult time.

After a long day, it was raining cats and dogs again. I was tired and I sprained my ankle while walking down the stairs. It was painful but luckily I was still able to walk. I almost cried. But I told myself again "BE STRONG, AYLWIN". I walked back slowly. Puduraya is terrifying when you're alone. People follow you to sell you bus ticket and they will keep continue to do that, stalking you, stopping you.

DAY 3 - 28/8 (Fri)
Last day of my stay at KL. And again I survived another terrifying night. Today I will be busy with my visa application. After a shower and a breakfast, I took a taxi to wisma MCA as my leg still hurt a bit.

At wisma MCA, I met Sin Yee and her mum. Again meeting someone I know is very relieving. Then the scariest part of the day starts. I found out I mistakenly filled tier 4 student (general) instead of (sponsored) in the visa online application. Some of my friends was asked to return as they also did something wrong with their online application. I was freaking out. My flight was 640 pm and if I cant finish the application at that moment, I might miss my flight back and ended up with no place to stay. I told myself "BE CALM". Instantaneously, I ran to find a place with wifi to redo my online application. My ankle hurts but I have not much time left until my appointment. It was 11 and my appointment was 45 minutes later. Running was the only option. Luckily, really luckily, I found mcd. I bought an apple pie and started redoing my online application. And you know wat? My laptop battery is almost finished. Shit.. I have no time to look around for a socket so I just continue with my online application, praying that I will finish it in time before the battery ran out.

Next stop, a printing shop. We are required to print out our online application so I need to find a printing shop. After asking around, I located a printing shop on 2nd floor. I ran like crazy, dragging my luggage with me. Every cloud has a silver lining. Guess what I made it in time for the appointment. I ran inside and the man at the counter was calling my name. I sat down and pulled out my messy documents, piled up on the desk. The man didn't talked much and just helped to tidy up my documents. Phew... I was sweating like crazy but I had all the documents needed.

Before I knew, I finished my application in around 45 minutes. Fast? Ya really fast. An advice to all. Do make an appointment for visa application but don't do it in group. It only causes more trouble. Do book a time that you for sure you will make it or else if you are late, they will not be happy at all.

Thanks to Sin Yee and her parents who brought me to the airport. I was saved from lots of travelling. I reached the airport really early, more than 4 hours before my flight. I ate my lunch at mcd and spent my watching CSI through my laptop. Maybe it's because I checked in early, I was allocated a hot seat, 5A. Wow for the first time in my life, I need not to queue up with others. Instead we from the hot seats just queue up in a special line. I was the 4th to get into the plane. Lucky I guess.

Finally I reached Kuching. I sniffed in the fresh air and felt relieved to be finally back in my hometown. Those 3 days were scary and if I need to repeat them again, I know I can manage it. The 3 days had trained me indeed, physically and mentally to be prepared for my life in London. But I do wish that I do not have to encounter such experience again as it's really unpleasant and torturing. Thanks to all those who had helped me throughout the process. Thanks to you all I survived through the 3 difficult days and finished my visa application. Now I just need to wait for the approval. Pray hard.

Back in Kuching and exhausted...

I'm finally back in Kuching.....
And completely drained out, exhausted..
So wait for my post tomorrow regarding my three eventful day at KL

Undepressed, unconfused, unworried, unscared...

Thanks to my great friends....
I'm officially out of the dark clouds of "depressed, confused, worried and scared"

Well these two days had been tough. Looking for accommodation, coping with almost mental breakdown and emotional torture, filling all those forms, meeting with lots of difficulties, getting Hughes Parry as my accom (not international hall- my 1st choice) and the list goes on...It's depressing and unbearable...

But thanks to them, I cope with it.
Firstly, thanks to Jin May for getting into Hughes Parry also (although she also resents the choice and she's not the one who make the decision). But luckily I got someone i know at the same hostel which makes me feel so much better... SO THANK YOU

Next to my parents for their ever support, non-stop help. I settled my accommodation for 2 days in KL. YA thanks to them for willing to spent money to solve my difficulties.

Then, thanks to Mr Tan for all the selfless helps.

Thanks to Swee San for all the information and supports from both sms and msn. She replied all my doubts swiftly.

Thanks to Nicholas for acting as my personal encyclopedia who provided me with all the info i need to know from transportation to documents.

Thanks to TK and Ruth for all the supportive words they said (thru msn of course) which assist me in getting out of the mud pool of unhappiness.


Finally thanks to Kenny and Carol for their offer to stay with them. Really thanks
(But I have booked by hotel d. Since it has been decided, I'm going to live at Citin hotel for 3D2N happily)

SO ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU
ps: including all of u whom i did not named. well some heroes are left unnamed.

Oh my look at the time... N I haven't finish packing...so tat's all from me and good luck in whatever you are doing now...

What to do? Life is like that

Have you ever have a feeling of hopelessness, helplessness, scared, disappointed, sad, angry and fear of the future all mix up causing you to laugh and cry at the same time?
Life is always full of uncertainty. That's what everyone knows but how many of us can face it with a light heart and full of optimism?
What to do? That's just life. And we still need to continue living no matter what...
I hate waiting... waiting for the boat of life to just follow the current of uncertainty, not knowing what is in front of you, a waterfall or the open sea? Why cant I just row my boat? But life is just like that... without paddles to control your life.

Why no photos being posted??

Why?? You may ask...
Well the fact is there's a website known as facebook and it's faster to upload there....
So why need to trouble myself in uploading photos here.
Anyway for photos, just visit my facebook account. I'm sure you will find lots there..
Thanks

London School of Pharmacy here i come!!!

Yay.. I got unconditional offer from London School of Pharmacy.
Now it's just visa.
Congratulation to all my comrades. We did it. We succeeded. We achieved our goal.

An urge to brush up my English.

I have always been amazed by my friends' blog, especially Boon Lee's and never will cease being amazed by the language, the awesome post.

So I have decided to put in effort to brush up my own skills. So bare with me with my low standard English and leave comments to assist me in building up the quality of my post. Haiz... That's why whenever I post sth in this blog, I'm always surrounded by mountains of thesaurus and dictionary. But hey how to improve without some effort. And also in the future i will be uploading scientific posts as I'm weak in formal essays and it will be difficult if a future pharmacist cant even write a decent scientific post.

A heartfelt goodbye and all the best wishes

It's time to say goodbye to Boon Lee and Siang Ling.
All the best in your future endeavour in Wisconsin.

It's my greatest pleasure in getting to know u gals, an undeniable crazy bunch of people but the most friendly group of friends I have known. I will miss you all dearly but hey look on the bright side, imagine departing on our own journey and able to cross path again in the future. Isn't that great. All the changes we might be able to observe on each of us after few years (maybe Siang Ling will be sooooo slim?? haha)

Hey you gals are among the few who approaches me when I first transfer to Green Road so technically you gals are my oldest friends in Green Road. Haha ur awesome friendliness and cheerfulness has brighten up my days in green road as a transfer student. I have never regretted transferring to green road, to have a chance in meeting you all and have a full of blast two years of secondary school life. I am really thankful to be able to know such a wonderful group of friends.

The future is always full of uncertainties and challenges but remember "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP". Things will be very different in US and challenges will be queuing up to meet you but whenever you faces misfortune and difficult times, recall those crazy times we had in green road, those sweet gatherings, those memorable trips. Keep deep in ur mind that u have a bunch of friends still supporting u from wherever we are, so never give up. Good luck and until we meet again.

A need to leave the house..

Recovered from the annoying cold....

Really need to leave my house. I have been wasting time inside doing nothing. To cure my boredom, I watched Harry Potter movies series, from the 1st one until the 6th one.

Harry Potter movies have always been site for harry potter fans to meet the difference of their imagination with the movie. I must say that I prefer the first 2 movies only... I dislike the fact that Dumbledore is potrayed as a bad tempered person. Dumbledore has always been a kind hearted, patient and good mannered old man in my imaginations. Why is he so different in the movies??

A need to get out of my house... Why? You may ask. I have been eating, sleeping and watching movies for all of the time. Exercise and fresh air are really necessary for me.... Anyone want to go out with me?

Flu...

Flu has been haunting for one day.... How it came?? I have no idea. The haze might need to take up some responsibility....

Sneezing.... running nose... and slight tiredness came with the package... H1N1?? Hopefully not... I don't have fever, muscle pain... sore throat?? a bit but i think is because of the haze..

So I took Amway active 8 drink with honey ( rich in vitamin C), some vit c tablets and supplements of triple guard echinacea to build up my immune system against the intruder in my system...

Hope I recover soon....

A recipe to share 2 - Tomato kueh tiao

For Sarawakians, tomato kueh tiao is one of the most popular dish which the local enjoy a lot. Tomato kueh tiao is loved for its fried kueh tiao indulged in sweet and sour tomato gravy. The sweet and sour gravy brings out the delicate taste of the seafood and is a perfect match for fried kueh tiao. It will definetely stimulate your appetite with a bowl of delectable tomato kueh tiao.

Ingredients: (A) Kueh tiao and soy sauce
(B) Garlic, meat( pork or chicken), tomato sauce, oyster sauce, light soy sauce, sago/tapioca flour, sugar, salt, sesame oil, prawn/squid, vege, fresh tomato

1: Stir fry the kueh tiao and add some soy sauce. Stir fry for a while. Serve it on a bowl
2: Heat up one tbsp of oil. Stir fry the garlic and add in meat.
3: Add tomato sauce, oyster sauce, sugar, salt, sesame oil and soy sauce to taste.
4: Add in sufficient water and bring to boil. Mix well some tapioca flour with water in a bowl. Add in the paste to thicken the gravy.
5: Finally add in prawns, vege and fresh tomato. Cook for a while. (Don't overcook as overcook will spoil the taste of the prawns)

A recipe to share 1 - Egg sandwich

For a simple breakfast, let me share with you an easy and nutritious recipe- egg sandwich.

Ingredients: Egg, mayonnaise, sandwich bread, seaweed, Maggi soy sauce, pepper, sesame oil, salad lettuce, tomato

1: Prepare hard boil egg by boiling the egg for a few minutes.
2: Mesh the hard boil egg with fork.
3: Add mayonnaise, soy sauce, pepper and sesame oil to taste.
4: Mix the ingredients well.
5: Spread the mesh egg on the bread. Add lettuce, tomato slice and seaweed.

An easy and straightforward recipe for a nutritious breakfast. This is one of my favourite breakfast recipe. For meat eaters, addition of fish fillet will even bring out the taste.

Passion to cook, Interest in baking

Cooking and baking have always been my interest.

At house, I'm one of the cook. (the other one is my mum). For most of the lunch and dinner during weekdays, I'm the one who prepared it. Cooking is tiring, I will not deny it. However when you finish preparing a dish and serve in on the diner table, the happiness and the feeling of accomplishment you will feel is unimaginable and indescribable.

Baking is fun. Why? Because after baking, you will have lots of sweet delicacies to enjoy. Baking is like doing chemistry experiment. You just need to follow the recipe-the instructions. Measure the ingredients and add the ingredients precisely as the recipe. Just follow the recipe and nothing will fail. So why not start to bake??

Lets enjoy cooking and baking!

Adios and bon voyage to my friends

Time flies. Now everyone preparing to take off, going on a new journey of their life into an uncharted territory. Everything is about to change, to the worst or to the best? It depends on ourselves to make the choice.

Excitement and anxieties jumble up in my mind. Excited to step into a new life, accept new changes as the adventure starts however anxieties still build up as the future is always uncertain. Life is filled with unknowns.

Sadness and happiness mix up in my heart. Sad because I need to depart with my friends. Happy as finally entering life as a pharmacist student, a life I'm looking forward to.

Therefore, I wish all my friends good luck and all the best in their future undertakings. May happiness always be with you all and you will always be free from any kind of sufferings. May we meet again in the future and still maintain this friendship. I believe all of you will be someone great in the future, somebody successful. Keep in touch. Looking forward to a reunion in the future.

Adios and bon voyage!!

Goodbye to the old one and hello to the new one!

I'm officially abandoning the old blog "Music of my life" and replacing it with "Metamorphosis - A change of life". Therefore, welcome to my new blog.

As an introduction, metamorphosis means a process in which sb/sth changes completely into sth different and currently I'm in the pathway to something completely unimaginable. Changes are inevitable throughout our journey in life as nothing is permanent and invariable. We, human are afraid of changes and always want to stay in our comfort zone with stationary situation. That is of course natural for us to feel that way towards changes. However, we should accept changes and adapt to the new environment so that we will not be left behind in the waves of changes. I hope i can metamorphose to accept and face the challenges which the future store for me.

I will keep the post short and sweet :)